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NICK HELM: NO ONE GETS OUT ALIVE | UK & IRELAND TOUR


  • UK & Ireland Tour (map)

Buy tickets *Selling fast*

Are you ready to have the best damn night of your effing life? Well don’t worry, the man with the golden larynx is back – and he’s aiming high. 

On his last tour NICK HELM promised you a Super Fun Good Time Show and, except for one man in Hull, no one could say he did anything other than more than deliver. This time, the International Treasure-in-Waiting is going to give you the best damn night of your miserable lives whether you want it or not. 

Nick Helm is the greatest living all-round entertainer of his or any generation, living or dead, and he’s coming to a town near you. What are you going to tell your grandkids? That you were busy that night? Well get ready for your grandkids to stare at you with a complete lack of comprehension. You’ll be considered, locally, an idiot. From now on, every time you catch your own reflection in a car window or the back of an old DVD, you’ll think yourself a wally. 

So chill the eff out, wind your effing neck in and buy an effing ticket. They’re affordable and there’s an interval to buy refreshments and to look at your fellow audience members with a cocked head asking “Did he just change our lives?” Relent to him. He. Is. Your. New. God. You can run and you can hide, but no one gets out alive. 

Since starting stand-up comedy in 2007, Nick quickly gained attention from across the industry for his hilarious blend of one-liners, stories, poems and songs. He's been twice nominated for an Edinburgh Comedy Award, released two successful albums, and was nominated for a BAFTA for short film Elephant, which he co-wrote, directed and starred in. As also seen on Uncle, Loaded, Nick Helm’s Heavy Entertainment, Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown and many more.


‘Genuinely exciting’ ★★★★★ Telegraph

‘Terrific’ ★★★★ Times

‘It ain’t pretty, but it is hilarious’ ★★★★ Chortle

‘Brilliant one-liners and magnificent set pieces’ ★★★★ Independent

‘Helm is a comic tour de force, and then some’ ★★★★ Mail on Sunday

Age guidance: 16+

Presented by Plosive Live in association with Sophie Chapman Talent

November 2025

Sat 29 - London, Leicester Square Theatre - *Sold out*

BUY TICKETS

PREVIOUS DATES

September 2025

Fri 12 - Swindon, Swindon Arts Centre

Sat 13 - Cambridge, Cambridge Junction

Sun 14 - Canterbury, Gulbenkian

Thu 18 - Bath, Rondo Theatre

Fri 19 - Corsham, Pound Arts

Wed 24 - London, Artsdepot

Thu 25 - Reading, South Street Arts Centre

Fri 26 - Reading, South Street Arts Centre

Sat 27 - Exeter, Barnfield Theatre

Sun 28 - Bristol, Tobacco Factory Theatres

October 2025

Sat 04 - Aberystwyth, Comedy Festival

Thu 09 - Salford, Quays Theatre

Fri 10 - Barnard Castle, The Witham

Sat 11 - Stockton, ARC

Sun 12 - Harrogate, Harrogate Theatre

Thu 16 - Leeds, Glee Club

Fri 17 - Hull, Hull Truck Theatre

Sat 18 - Hull, Hull Truck Theatre

Thu 23 - Nottingham, Arts Theatre

Sat 25 - Brighton, Corn Exchange

Wed 29 - Southampton, The Attic

November 2025

Tue 04 – Newcastle, The Stand

Wed 05 - Glasgow, The Stand

Thu 06 – Edinburgh, Monkey Barrel Comedy

Sun 09 - Norwich, Epic Studios

Wed 12 - Dublin, The Sugar Club

Thu 13 - Belfast, Limelight

Sat 15 - Stafford, Gatehouse Theatre

Sun 16 - Birmingham, Glee Club

Wed 19 - Sheffield, Foundry

Thu 20 - Pocklington, Arts Centre

Fri 21 - Leamington Spa, Royal Spa Centre

Sun 23 - St Albans, Alban Arena

Wed 26 - Cardiff, Glee Club

Thu 27 - Swansea, Taliesin Arts Centre

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